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The Quotes

mray: I found the toaster plugin for emacs, but I can't figure out what my toaster would have to say to my refridgerator.
matt: Need more bread, need more bread, need more bread.
scottd: the refridgerator would be like, "I don't do the shopping."
mckelley: It could flash: bread jam, bread jam, bread jam, instead of paper jam.

mray: What's your day like scott?
scottd: Well I get up at around 10:15 or so. I used to get up before 10 to watch Magnum PI, but not anymore.

<phone ring>
matt: "Oh! Scott's got a head-hunter!"
scottd: "And I didn't even hit submit yet!"

zane: "...and then the dwarf comes to town--"
mckelley: "--that's always trouble."

matt: Who wakes up in the morning and thinks "I'm gonna be that guy"

cote: "Do we have ncftp installed?"
mray: "Why would you want that?"
cote: "Cause it'll keep bangin' on an ftp site until it lets me in...kind of like I do with the women..."

matt: "Most games are repetitive, that's why I don't play many."
cote: "Except the game of pimpin'."
mray: "But that gets repetitive: 'Pimps up, ho's down! Pimps up, ho's down! Pimps up, ho's down!'"

jvalanju: "Andy, you're not a true friend--you're not letting me beat you."
akerr: "Well Jay, that's what sadomasochistic gay lovers are for..."
jvalanju: "Yeah, I know what you're saying."

akerr: "Jay, if you look in your inbox there's some 'exciting news.'"
jvalanju: "Oooo...I like exciting news."

"We don't care about the people with 56k modems"
--jplouis on the proposed Portal Potty redesign.

"Yeah...Direct Ticket on Sunday: you get all the NFL games. Yeah...oh yeah...yeah..."
--scottd

Maybe its a good idea to start always using the phrase, "It's like I always say...," and then follow it up with something that I have in fact, never said before.
Examples:

• It's like I always say, 6 doughnuts or 1/2 dozen croissants , you still can't pay with a three dollar bill.
• It's like I always say, the German hate the French, but England is across the channel.
• It's like I always say, you can open up the shop, but you can't have the sale on Sunday.

"All I know is that I want a St. Bernard with one of those little kegs around his next and a saddle on his back that I can train my Chihuahua to ride around in. And to socialize my hedgehog. And maybe get some more suits... then I can say, 'Screw you women! Look at my Chihuahua!'"
--zane on romance

cote: "Yup...that's how we road test things here at Coral [by waiting for code to break.]"
matt: "You've been busy recently, dude."
cote: "...yup...pimpin' takes up a lot of time."
matt: "It's true dude."

cote: "Are there new monkey links up?"
mray: "No."
cote: "OK."
mray: "But Tara sent me a link the other day and said, 'this should be up there,' and I was like, 'it already is."

jplouis: "Well, you could just write your own readMarshalable() and writeMarshalable() method and create the inner classes there..."
cote: "Yeah...but Marshalable has gotta be cooler than that...to get the chicks."
matt: "Coté: the chick gettin' coder."
mray: "Pimp code."
cote: "Jokes so inside they're covered by the NDA."

"OK...I read the CoralQuotes update, and though I was entertained...I still feel a bit empty."
--scottd

"It's 't' as in Tom, 'g' as in...uh...uh...God."
--scottd confirming airline tickets

"Unless they like happy programmers. 'A happy programmer is a hard working programmer.' What they don't realize is that I can be pretty happy and not be working at all."
--mray

"If you give a million dollars, you could get a sausage."
--zane on alumni association

"We don't buy processed foods at the co-op.... To which you might respond, 'Isn't the rice and soy milk you buy processed? And don't the people who complain about processed food the most drink the most rice and soy milk ? And don't they eat the most name brand cereal?' It is, with out a doubt, the worst vegan hypocrisy ever. You can rest assured that I will be on CoralQuotes, in minutes, registering my displeasure."
--cote on HoC buying habits

"It'll break the code, but it won't break the build. And that's what's important."
--mray on good software design

"That's one of the best parts of any movie: when a Wayans brother dies."
--scottd

"Coté, there's only 16 shopping days left 'till Christmas; and all you've done is bought yourself a bourbon book."
--matt

"At what point in your life do you decide, 'That's my new goal'?"
--matt on the search string "learn to enlarge my penis to i can suck my own dick", found in MesaQuotes access log

"I just got all the Rent-a-Center locations in Austin, right here, in my browser."
--cote

"I'm starting to think I have ADD. I started thinking about it, then I got onto something else...'no, no, no'...Funions."
--mray

cote: "What are we gonna do when we've listened to all the [This American Life] episodes?"
matt: "Well, Coté...then we'll cry."

jvalanju: "Pokey-Joe's?"
cote: "Well, Jay, I like Pokey-Joe's, but there's vegetarians here."
jvalanju: "Well...they have mashed potatoes don't they? Beans?"
cote: "Jay: the compassionate meat eater."

matt: "I can't believe people fall for those [televangelists]."
mray: "They're looking for answers...afraid of death..."
matt: "Well, can't they just find it at the bottom of a bottle like everyone else?"

"Dude, you outta get a turkey, some sides and plunk it down on the table and have yourself a Thanksgiving with JSP."
--cote

"Hippies are drunks."
--cote

"Did you see the Lottery? Only 4 million. That's not gonna buy all those Ferraris."
--scottd

"But I did not vote for Kay Bailey Hutchison...that bitch...remember the commencement speech? Vote for whoever's running against her!"
--matt advising his mother on voting

"Oh no...does it say 'tardsite'?"
--matt on Short-bus 'Frodin'

cote: "Maybe we shouldn't be so hard on matt."
scottd: "At least he's with someone old enough to drive."
jvalanju: "Oohh."

"You know who I don't like...Cameron Diez: Pac-Man on a tooth-pick."
--mray

cote: "So it looks like we have another event to goto."
matt: "You know, because we need sausage...and a lot of it. Oh you better believe we need lots of sausage."

matt: "Ass fish, it stunk. Someone left it up their ass for a long time, and then took it out. And not a clean ass, mind you, a dirty ass."
jplouis: "Clean ass smells good sometimes!"
matt: "Ass Fish!"

matt: "You're always thinking, Coté."
cote: "No. I'm just bored."

"I still think we should do 'soup-to-nuts' instead of 'end-to-end'...or we could do 'mouth-to-ass.'"
--matt

[Regarding the challenge put forth to jvalanju, to see if he can eat 4 Cabana bowls in 1 day]
jvalanju: "I'll see if I can do that."
mray: "Then we'll extend the challenge to Coté, to see if he can top that."
jvalanju: "Oh, I'm sure he can... he's more beast than man."

"Do you have an envelope, Kinman? ...'Zane Rockenbaugh,' 'Matt Ray,' 'Web Standards.' 'What are the arguments we'll hear in the next 4 hours.'"
--cote predicts

scottd: "You know...everything seems to be about your ass this week."
matt: "heheh...thanks."

jvalanju: "Hey, am I on the developercam yet?"
matt: "Uhh... I don't know, I don't keep up with the developercam."
[This is funny because matt watches the developercam all the time. -Ed.]

cote: "Hey, it smells like watermelon over here."
matt: "Yeah, that's my ass."

cote: "We played in the dark."
matt: "We call that 'night foosball.'"
cote: "I wanted a glowing ball...but only one."

"'Get her drunk'...Coté, that's your answer to everything!"
--mray

"Of course, everything the dogs do is probably 'old school': kickin' it old-school, scratchin' yourself old-school, sniffing your butt old-school, sniffing other dogs' butts old-school..."
--matt on the use of "old-school" in reference to Doggie Cam!

"We're gonna GPL it, 'cause it's not good enough to sell!"
--matt

"You're still lookin' at fresh guys? You're addicted!"
--matt to cote

cote: "Has Maxx Power updated his page?"
matt: "No....he's busy thinking up things to put on t-shirts for dogs...yeah I know..."

matt: "Who the hell would take inyerass.com...except us?"
mray: "How about inmyass.com?"

"Coté...I'm pretty much spent after 'CodeQueens.' I'm pretty much spent for the day."
--matt

zane: "Is that sweat, or did I drool on myself?"

scottd: "If you goto the Yellow Rose and buy drinks, your credit card will be charged by 'Gala Entertainment.'"
zane: "Did you look on-line for that?"
scottd: "Well...I just checked my credit-card."

"It was Edna's edibles! ...god damn it..."
--matt

matt: "So how many dances did you get?"
scottd: "I really don't know.... I had a lot of cash when I started...but it was all gone at the end."

matt: "So what time are you gonna be here tomorrow, Coté?"
cote: "6AM. I'm never late for a King's Feast."
mray: "That's what it will say on Coté's tombstone."
cote: "Yeah...in 20 years."
mray: "'He ate too much meat; never late for a King's Feast.'"

"We're the most opinionated group of fucks...'no, you're not doin' that!'"
--matt

"I think it's 'fair use' use: we drink a butt load of Mr. Brown, and then we make t-shirts."
--cote

"Only two packets of ketchup? Like that's gonna get me through the day."
--scottd on McDonald's

"No, Company X already bought Chase...with a stock leverage...'yeah, we'll just fire up the laser printer and print you some more stock.'"
--mray

"I want a chain-mail thong."
--jplouis

scottd: "Are you guys lookin' at dogs again?"
cote: "No, we don't look at dogs all the time"
matt: "What?"
scottd: "Are you lookin' at dogs again?"
matt: "No...we're looking...in yer ass!"

matt: "You smell like sandlewood...or incense."
cote: "Well...I do live in a hippie co-op."
matt: "Now you smell like poo...'well I do live in a hippie co-op.'"

cote: "Everybody likes the word 'boobie.'"
jvalanju: "And 'testicle.'"

cote: "Dem dogs ain't doin' shit."
matt: "There's Jake sleepin'...is that anything?"

<zane> I am the master!
<matt> bater...
<zane> I am the dark prince!
<matt> bater...

matt: "What'd you say?"
jplouis: "Too much disk allocation."
matt: "Actually...if you said 'too much diggy-allocation' it would have been cooler.... Too much caffeine...yeah."

jplouis: "I want a penis pump."
matt: "Well, JP, it's not a penis pump."
jplouis: "Well...I want one."

matt: "You like 'fromunda' cheese right, Coté?"
cote: "What?"
matt: "Cheese fromunda my nuts! Owwwww!"
cote: "Owwwwww!"

scottd: "Maybe I don't exfoliate enough."
mray: "Maybe you're exfoliating in the wrong places."

matt: "[Zane] never gets that excited when he plays [foosball] with me."
cote: "Maybe you don't grease the poles enough."

"I have to learn Spanish to teach German."
--Nancy

"Dude...'delicious bun fillers.'"
--jploius on "food"

mray: "[The Sunny Maid lady] mentioned that some of the words in the Mr. Brown page were a little racy. We were talking about changing them."
scottd: "What...fuck no! What kind of Internet people are you? What, do you check your balls at the door?"

"22 gallons! Good fucking lord!"
--matt on The Mr. Brown Pyramid

"It's a national holiday in Germany today. It's probably Sausage Day or something."
--scottd

"Maybe you should butter up your pants."
--scottd on the Butter-in-ice-tea concept drink

"<whispered> Meatloaf."
--cote recommending a Threadgill's dish

scottd: "Why don't we start out by gluing together Styrofoam peanuts..."
cote: "What?"
scottd: "You know, like in elementary school--"
matt: "I never went to elementary school."

cote: "Oh...I need to order soy-milk."
matt: "Things that come to Coté at 3:42 in the afternoon: number one, 'I need to order soy-milk!'; number two, 'That diggy-drick is funny!'"

"I think it should be, 'I like the way you work it, yo diggy-drick.'"
--matt

"You know what? I'm gonna get a Mr. Brown! Can I hook you up? Oh...you've got a bird's nest."
--mray to cote drinking "vegetarian mock bird's nest"

cote: "What is 'I Fuck Jimmy every day and night'?"
mray: "I don't know...'BloodhoundGang ist geil'!"

matt: "'Well, I've never spent much time in school, but I've taught the ladies plenty.'"
cote: "You see it's like, he's never learned himself, but he's taught lots of ladies despite that."
matt: "Well...who hasn't done that."
cote: "Especially Jay."
matt: "'I've been burned by Cheryl Tiegs..."a-hay, hay!'"

jplouis: "'She cooks, cleans, and serves me sexually.'"
cote: "Are you relishing the thought?"
scottd: "What I wanna know is, how long did it take him to make those wire-frames? I mean, he could probably get the first two free on the Internet..."

matt: "What is a 'butt-load' exactly?"
cote: "Well...I think a 'butt-load' would be exactly enough to fill the toilet, but not clog it."
mray: "Hey, that's good to know."
cote: "While and 'ass-load' would clog the toilet."

"I found a page that will make UPC codes for you.... It's not very useful to us though."
--mray

"If this van is a rockin', don't bother Rockenbaugh."
--cote

zane: "Spanish is just english with vowels on the end."

scottd: "I already have a pedophile quote on there, how much worse can you get?"
cote: "Well how about necrophillia?"
scottd: "Well, it is a victimless crime..."

"Well let's just get drunk at the library, 'cause that's cheap."
--Ruth

matt: "Whao! She has a daughter!"
jplouis: "Whao! Don't need that baggage."

matt: "She's sexy, smart, alluring...but never naked."
mray: "Tsch! What's the point?"

jvalanju: She could be our next CXO
scottd: CXO? What is the X for?
jvalanju: You know, CEO or CFO or COO, CXO
jplouis: Shouldn't it be like "?"
jvalanju: or a "*" right
scottd: No "*" expands , ? for just on thing
jvalanju: Oh yeah
jplouis: No, we need "."
scottd: Like in perl
jplouis: yeah "CdotO"
<PAUSE>
scottd: Man, that just went off the dork meter.

jvalanju: Tonight Scott's gonna be tormented in his nightmares by one-legged men.

jvalanju: "See...Coté's a team player. A team player."
matt: "Yeah...he's also a teen player."

cote: "What is this 'in your ass' thing?"
matt: "I don't know...sometimes we don't understand jay."
cote: "What is this 'in your ass' thing, Jay?"
jvalanju: "Heh...in your ass...well, maybe you should look in your ass to find out."

"Sofia said she finally hired someone taller than her."
--matt

matt: "Wouldn't it be sweet if I had a nude Zane poster?"
cote: "What?"
jplouis: "What?"

mray: "[Shepler's On-line] is just depressing..."
cote: "Why's that?"
mray: "They probably sell a 1000 boots a day."

jvalanju: "From now on I think I should be called 'The Technologist.'"
scottd: "Yeah...it's just like Mr. Wizard...only gayer."
matt: "Mr. Wizard is not gay."

cote: "A look into the mind of Scott-D!"
scottd: "You don't want to peer too far, Coté...you might not come back."

jplouis : So Kinman, where's your Chili's review?
matt : Well, I've actually been working....
mray : it's all fun games until somebody gets hurt.
jplouis : Yeah its all fun and games until somebody goes to Chilis expecting a 10 jp tshirt experience.

mray: It's an iMac outhouse.

mray : There's no ultrawide over there.
matt : That's what she said.
mray : Why did she say that?
matt: She's not a fan of the ultrawide.
mray: That's not what she said. Whoa!

matt: "Ewww, these [foosball] handles are warm and sweaty."
mray: "These handles are cold and clammy."
jplouis: "Yeah, how does Matt do that?"
matt: "I have poor blood circulation. I think I have aneurisms."

matt: My semicolon is broken, it only prints colons.
mray: It's not broken, it's been upgraded.

cote: "Do you guys know where I could get a fez?"
mray: "Sheplers!"
matt: "Yeah. Toy Joy."
cote: "What? No, not a Pez. A Fez!"
matt: "Goto Goodwill."
mray: "They're not going to have fezes at Goodwill!"
matt: "Yes they will."
cote: "No they won't. If you had a fez, would you give it away?"
matt: "Yes."
cote: "No you wouldn't. You'd put it on top of your monitor."
matt: "Why don't you look in the phone book under Fez."
cote: "For a 'Feziery'?"
matt: "...Le Fez...ha! I kill me!"

matt: "Coté, do you take a bite out of Crime?"
cote: "If the Crime doesn't come to the table sizzling in a skillet, I can't be bothered."

(Re: fanmail from Dell employees)
cote: "Wow, those Dell people are great."
matt: "They're bored as hell and they're not going to take it anymore."

"That's the fastest I've ever been updated in the CoralQuotes before... faster than an orgasm with the Venus Pump! NO! NO! No more Venus Pump quotes...oh, sorry, Venus System...is not a penis pump."
--matt

matt: "Wait, we could get a Coral sponsored Venus system and lend it out to the employee of the month as a prize. Of course, we'd have to get the Sybian system for girls if we ever hire any."
mray: "Please stop."

cote: "Do you really need a remote?"
matt: "You know, so you can lay back and just click, click...ahhh! 'Increase the presure...bring it back down.' I wish it had wav files so you could hear it running."

"Sizing info...will be fitted to your size...'This is the Matt Kinman model!'"
--matt on "Not a Penis Pump"

matt: "Does anything out there advertise itself as a penis pump?"
mray: "You really don't want to know."
cote: "What?"
matt: "'Hi, I'm Carol, the penis pump. Don't confuse me with the Venus system.'"

matt: "OOoo, Dunkin Donuts has a web site. But, they only sell coffee."
scottd: "How's it going to get to ya hot?"

Coté: "So how's your day been."
jplouis : "I split up my emacs screen into a bunch of little squares that big (motioning with fingers)."

<cote typing at mray's login>

login:[3~+[2~[2~[#~My name is Rosco.  Love me.  I am trapped in this
box.  Help me!  I know how to turn lead into gold.  Please help me.  If
you get me a biscuit, I will get you some gold.  Please help.  I also
know some fly geek chicks, maybe... if you help me, I will "hook you
up." OK?  Please help me.
Login incorrect

login: I was serious.  I'm trapped in this box.  Stop laughing.  I can
turn your lead into gold.  HELP! HELP! Being trapped in a box sucks donk
Login timed out after 60 seconds.

Debian GNU/Linux 2.2
login: What I meant to say was, "Sucks donkey snot."
password:
Login incorrect

login: I typed a secret message in the password box.  But you
password:
Login incorrect

login: could not see it.  Sorry. What I said was, "HELP!!"
password:
Login incorrect

cote: Put Swedes [in the meta tags]; people search for that a lot.
matt: Pam Anderson...
cote: And realdoll; people search for that a lot.

matt: "I watched the first few minutes of the 9 o'clock news hour."
mray: "Judas!"
scottd: "Did you get your 20 pieces of silver?"

"I looked at porn and did theater in high school... this has made me gay."
--zane on Christian Radio Conclusions

zane: <juggling> "It's my left hand that fucks me up."
cote: "And the right one that makes it feel good."

"If you search for 'megaboobies' without a space on Google, CoralQuotes is the only result returned."
--cote

matt: "'Best ever G Spot stimulation'!"
cote: "...'for about 75% of women'...sorry 25%!"
matt: "You suck...oh...no pun intended."

"Not a penis-pump, Coté."
--matt

"I got him to shit, pee, and puke on a suger buzz."
--jplouis

"What do the [foosball] shirts say on the back? I'm a big ass dork?"
--scottD

"Are you sure this book is good? It's forwarded by 'Zog the Martian.'"
--cote

mray: Work with the camera Scott... the camera loves you. scottd: The camera needs to get a telephoto lense to get all my subtle expressions.

zane: "How many of us are there? 6? We need to get 6 boxes of crayons and color in the dogs...put them on the walls."
matt: "Or we could write a distributed computing system."

"What I do is...I give him a dress, and he gets angry...and then I electrocute him."
--jplouis on PortaMonkey

"You know...I thought you would be honered to be the the first. I even put up the hoo-ha cam!"
--cote on The jplouois Fan Page

"<LOUD BELCH>...does that make you horny?"
--matt

"Why is everything in China so fucking salty?!"
--matt

"The poster-putty is in my pants! That's almost a tounge twister...of course you have to say it like Regis Philbin, 'The posterputty'sinmypants! I'm going crazy!'"
--matt

jplouis: "Have you tried IDL yet?"
matt: "What is that? More drug talk? 'I got a stack of IDL here. It's heavy shit!'"

matt: "Hey, Zane, I remembered that quote from Dune: 'Rot at the core always spreads outwards.' I think that pretty much describes Company X."
cote: "Yeah, except they don't have magic powers.... But if Company X had a product that could fold space, they still couldn't go public."

"After this point, I'm gunna make you my Monkey."
--jvalanju smack talkin' in Foosball

"Hey, Coté, if you're an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
'Euro-pean'! HA!"
--matt

"How many times has The Onion printed that one: 'How Come All these Gay Guys keep sucking my dick?'"
--mray

"Hey! There's no ham in this cam!"
--cote

cote: "Yeah, look. Java has no sizeOf."
matt: "...size doesn't matter to Java."

cote: "Mom and Dad Save the World , would that be under comedy?"
mray: "Yes. Outrageous comedy. Not to be confused with my other favorite category, 'New Releases.'"

"Why don't we change our name from Coral to We're Not a Drug Lab, Inc."
--zane on people coming in for drug tests

"I have to pay for everything in ones, so I'm always like, 'I'm not a stripper.'"
--Threadgill's waitress

cote: "She's not even my girlfriend and she's making me breakfast."
mray: "Damn!"
cote: "I told you my pimp hand was strong."

matt: "I rock the casbaugh. Do you fear my game too, Cote'? Bwahahaha! (OK, that's enough of competitive matt for a while)"
cote: "I fear only wild game that's been mutated by leaked nuclear waste and then used by large, beetle like aliens to rid said large, beetle aliens new home -- namely Earth -- of its previous inhabitants -- namely us. But most other types of 'game,' perhaps even including you...I'd have to say, 'No. No, I do not fear them.'"

scott: "I don't know when I first heard of that[ Bob], but I was moved."
cote: "Was it in a bathroom?"

"Well, you know what the 9 month anniversary is: the multi-angle anniversary."
--mray

"I think this espresso is givin' me that...5th wind of the day."
--cote

cote: "Ooo...porkal.com is taken. But there's no website."
matt: "They're squatters."
mray: "Someone's squatting my porkal!"

cote: "Where did they move the post-office?"
jvalanju: "Well, if it up my ass, I missed it."

scott: "There's a reason why I don't drink hot tea in the morning: 'cause I'll just keep drinking it, and drinking it..."
cote: "Look what it did for the English!"
scott: "...quite so."

cote: "Do you think these shirts would help you get the chicks?"
matt: "....they would help you get girls...who know about...PHP..."

matt: "This is one of those things I do without remembering."
cote: "That's what she said."
matt: "Ooo...that was a good one."

"I'm glad I'm a programmer. I don't think I could stand being a construction worker."
--jplouis on the Texas heat.

cote: "I should eat less, and drink more coffee."
matt: "And smoke."

mray: "Coté, desktop!"
cote: "Nah, it should be your desktop."
mray: "You're the one with kids looking at spaghetti. Come on! This is horrible."

"Watchin' some foosball, drinkin' some Dr. Pepper, eatin' some olives. Yeah."
--zane

"Now my finger smells like tofu cake!"
--matt after eating "Tow Fu Cake" snacks

cote: "Or I could apply the Cote' Test: place onion rings and cheese fries equadistance from him and see which one he eats first. Rings or Cheese fries: that'll tell you a lot 'bout a man. Yes, sir, it sure will."
matt: "I would take a cheese fry and put it in the onion ring, then eat it. What does that say about it?"
cote: "It means you're confused. I have some numbers you might be interested in."
matt: "800-no-pokey"
cote: "Perhaps a sign that you need more burgers."
matt <wink wink>
cote:: "'I'll take the double-patty if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge!'"
matt: "Hold the pickle! I hate vinegar. (ouch!)"
cote: "For God's sake...NO MAYO!"

"I prefer to use that back bathroom: I like to dump in peace."
--chris

matt: "Be careful of the raisins."
chris: "Are you having pooping problems?"

matt: "...clowns.com!"
chris: "Betcha it's a porn site."

"I want mainframes, printers, and beer."
--chris

jplouis: "Coté, were they still going to that place?"
cote: "You're starting to sound like Zane--"
mray: "Coté read my mind."

"I'll tell you what: soon as I git me a million dollars, I'm gonna git me a midget."
--zane

cote: "We could use [ NDS eDirectory] on Portal-Potty.com"
mray: "For what?!"
cote: "...you know...to 'leverage' customers."

zane: "Maybe we can go down on targets--"
cote: "Wooo...maybe not."
matt: "Tee-hee!"

"Is she an old 15? Cause it's not the years, it's the mileage."
--scott

"Frickin' everytime I see a bag of Chetos I have to eat it. I'm not happy about that situation."
--jvalanju

"New Resume item: September 8th, 1987 to Present - Looked Really Hot."
--cote

jplouis: Dude, you bought a lot of it [Ginsing gum].
cote: I like it.
jplouis: Yeah...those nuts at the co-op probably like it too.

chris: "What happened to all the green markers?"
matt: "Oh. I get rid of them. I have a natural fear of them..."
jvalanju: "Are you serious?"
matt: "Heh, heh...no."

cote: "Hey, JP, you want some Ginsing gum?"
jplouis: "No. I don't ever trust anything you say, 'Do you want some?'"

<matt> We should all try to incorporate (money loser) parenthesis into all of our conversations (jabber).
<cote> That's a good idea (something fun to do) that you (damn programmer) have (intelectual property. Doh!).

"They just need to legalize prostitution. That would solve a lot of these problems."
--chris

<zane> So, did you guys get the foosball table?
<chris> yeah it's back there
<mray> I needs to be oiled and cleaned up a bit.
<matt> That's what she said.

matt: "I wanna see the fun they're having with the cans."
cote: "The exciting life...of Matthew Kinman."

"I'm zonked out today. I forgot to wear my happy-pants."
--cote

Subject: You are a bad man.
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2000 17:17:57 -0500
From: Matt Ray
To: cote

It smelled kinda peculiar on Sunday... you should put your food somewhere besides the drawer. STINK-EE.

-- Matthew H. Ray

--- matt has changed the topic to: It was a sultry night
--- mray has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night
--- mray has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night
--- mray has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night in Beaumont
--- matt has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night in Beaumont. 
I was eating eggs.
<matt> Have I mentioned how fun makefiles are?
--- mray has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night in Beaumont. 
I was eating pickeled eggs and drinking budweiser.
--- matt has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night in Beaumont. 
I was eating pickeled eggs and drinking Pabst.
<mray> Beats Heineken.
--- matt has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night in Beaumont. 
I was eating pickeled eggs and drinking Pabst.  I was sitting on a
sweaty vinel chair.
--- mray has changed the topic to: It was a sulfery night in Beaumont. 
I was eating pickeled eggs and drinking Pabst.  I was sitting on a
sweaty vinyl chair in shorts that were just a little too
<mray> guess we found the limit on the topic...
<matt> B'Oh!
--- Slash has changed the topic to: 
<Slash> You're a load
<mray> t was a sulfery night in Beaumont.  I was eating pickeled eggs
and drinking Pabst.  I was sitting on a sweaty vinyl chair in shorts
that were just a little too much like their namesake.
<matt> Of huge hunking man meat!
--- mray has changed the topic to: huge hunking man meat!

jplouis: "Maybe we should get 32 bitches instead of a 32 port switch."
chris: "What's a bitch?"
zane: "Bitches is ho's, Chris."

zane: "No one ever writes down quotes I say."
cote:"That's because we type them in."

zane: "My beans aren't as good as the smell."
cote: "...well, a lot of us have that problem in our young age, Zane."

"I can't do any work...not 'till Chris eats that pie."
--mray

cote: "I wonder if they drink that [Sprite] under the sea..."
matt: "Coté, that's your answer to everything: live under the sea."

scottd: "Have you register NudistAssassins.com?"
cote: "Oh, that's a tough one the resist."
scottd: "It's still free...and only $17..."
cote: "Man. So it's, 'Do I buy that Lil' Troy CD or NudistAssassins.com?'"

matt: "Were'd you get that Mounds bar?"
cote: "It's in the snack area."
matt: "Oh Kinman, don't you know. Oh bother!"

"Did you know Barq's is 'low sodium'? That's one way it won't kill ya."
--cote

"My brain has decided to goto Disney Land today but it didn't invite me. So I'm stuck here in South Dakota with nothin' to do but hope I don't drool on myself."
--cote

"I think it's stupid: if someone wants to steal your cans, let 'em."
--mray on the Anti-Aluminum Can Stealing ordinance

mray: "You can download the spoken word version of the Bible now from Napster."
matt: "The Bible is for loosers."

"'I'm sick. I have explosive diaharia.'"
--matt mocking jplouis

matt: "Is 775 OK for permisions?"
cote: "I don't know; I just use the letters. Fuck that math shit."

"So, I read all those files. What next? Do I fly to Zurich and kill Dr. Spazo then get it on with Ms. MegaBoobies, then off the Borneo for the secret volcano hideout of Fat Face McGee and his crack team of nudist assassins?"
--cote

cote: "I think mray is getting restless. We oughta hire some nudist assasins to kick his day into high gear."
matt: "www.nudistassasins.com It has to be available. Wait, do they just kill nudists or they nudist that kill?"
cote: "Well, I'd say they're nude all the time, and, they'll kill anyone, so they'd kill nudist, or cloth-ist, or air-ist, or even those demonic papists!"
matt: "How about demon dogs?"
cote: "No. Sorry. No demon dogs."

cote: "How do you spell 'familiar'?"
jvalanju: "Aren't you using ispell? I thought Linux was a superior operating system."
cote: "Well, I'm a superior misspeller"

"The JP Friday Song" by cote

Everyday is Friday, when your name's Jean-Pierre,
You always have fresh strawberry's and plenty of asian pears.

But that's OK folks: hair's no cause for fear,
'Cause everyday's Friday, when your name's Jean-Pierre.

matt: "Some one's gotta help me out with the 'that's what she said's'"
jplouis: "I hate the small ones with the little cap things."
cote: "That's what she said."

mray: "Last time I saw someone drink a Strawberry Soda was when I bet Chris a quarter to eat a whole pie."
matt: "And he did it."

"Dude, that's what you need to do, buy a freezer and a side of beef. And a big cook. Hell two sides! And just eat like a king for a long time."
--jplouis

"I'm still a little messed up after vacation too. It's like, you don't need time: you wake up, have fun, goto sleep, wake up, party, goto sleep. Night and day is all you need to know. And movie times...maybe."
--cote

Special Feature

Jay Valanju and Jim Anchower, seperated at birth?

Thanks to Matt "mray" Ray for the idea.

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